Sunday in Toronto

Hello everyone,
Well, we got a good night sleep Saturday night and the fire alarm did not go off this night. So we are up at 5 am to meet in the lobby for 6. It is pouring rain outside and does not look good for a day of walking 25km. We get organized and get up to Downsview for 7:30 and it is raining here too but not as hard. My friend Deb though, does not really know that it is raining. She is just so exhausted and it is only getting worse as the early morning goes on. You see she is tired from the walking yesterday and it is pretty early, but on top of that...if Deb is your roomie next year...do not leave any pills lying around because she will just take them. Whether they are hers or not. Could be a painkiller or as in this particular case a NIGHT TIME COLD MEDICATION. It seems that Tanis left her pill on the night stand from the night before and Sunday morning when Deb woke up she saw this pill...a blue one....figured it was a Advil so popped it. Now, as the day wears on so does the cold medication and she is very sleepy. Well...you can just imagine the teasing she received then and will continue to receive for the rest of her life. We have all made a note not to leave any coffee mate or sugar on a table next year because who knows what she will try with that! I am still laughing about this now as I am writing this. Oh Deb.
The rain does not dampen our spirits though and everyone is excited to start walking. There are some pretty bad blisters on our team though. Marion has some very bad blisters on the back of her heels which did not heal from the walk in Vancouver four weeks earlier. Tanis has "toe condoms" on three of her toes and her big toenail on each foot is black and are infected. They started to turn black in Montreal two weeks earlier and she will probably lose both toenails. She knew that before walking in Toronto, she walked anyway. Our "newbie" Wanda has blisters but she is still walking... and the list of injuries and stiffness that we all have goes on and on. Nobody complains though and everyone knows that they just have to get through today and the blisters will heal, the sore muscles will get better and they will be able to say "I did it".
I would also like to give some "honourable mention" to Chad, Karen and Joseph. Chad is the gentleman who has done every single walk in every city every year since the walks started. Toronto was his 22nd walk. Unbelievable. True commitment and dedication to seeing the end of breast cancer. His mother was just diagnosed in the summer and she would be there to see him at the end of the walk in Toronto. I know that all the walks are emotional but Toronto was different for him. You could see it in his eyes. I must mention again that he will probably do all of them again next year. Karen and Joseph. They did it. I can not believe that Joseph was able to finish Saturday. He looked so sick on Saturday that if I was a "betting person" I would of lost a lot of money. We saw them on Sunday and he looked much better but was still not feeling great. We were able to celebrate with them at the end with a cold beer. Congratulations to all of you. It was a pleasure to meet and walk with you.
Peeps. They are such a big part of our team and they know just what to do and are just so encouraging for us and the other walkers too. We get so many people coming up to us during the walk saying "your friends are so great and are so much fun". Truer words were never spoken. I know that this weekend is not easy for them either. They do so much driving and running around that they are exhausted at the end too. They just give us so much energy. Here is just one tiny example. I forgot to mention on Saturday the word...Popsicles. It was around 80 degrees on Saturday and we turn the corner and who is there but our peeps holding Popsicles. It might as well been beer. It was such a welcome relief to the team and we loved it. Mizey, (long time peep) has one of those whistles that would stop a cab in New York. We love it! While we were eating our Popsicles on Saturday there was one fellow who was walking alone and was probably in his late 50's early 60's. You could see that he was struggling. His hair was very disheveled, he was sweating quite a bit and looked very tired. Without a word Mizey grabs an extra Popsicle walks across the street and offers it to him. Well...the look on this man's face was unbelievable. He was so appreciative. I am sure it was exactly what he needed to keep going. When I asked my team what were some of their favourite moments on the weekend, this was one of Mizey's. Her heart is as good as her whistle.
So we are pretty much in the front/middle of the pack of walkers in the morning. It is just a light drizzle in the morning and the team is feeling pretty good. Me...I am feeling EXCELLENT. I am just so happy to be finishing these walks in Toronto with my friends. They have been such a huge part of my recovery. One of the toughest things about being diagnosed with breast cancer is telling people about it. I knew that I was going to be fine, but your natural reaction is to be terrified for the person who is telling you the news. I can pretty much tell you where I was when I called each one of my family members or friends. It was around Christmas and it is hard to bring the conversation from Christmas shopping to diagnosis. You can hear the shock and fear in their voices in the first words they speak. It broke my heart each and every time. The best part of it...bald or with hair...I know that I am very lucky to have the people I do in my life because either way they will still tease me, which I know means they love me. That is one of the great gifts this disease gives you. Many people can go through their lives and not know how they are loved, they do not appreciate how much they are loved....this disease gave me both. I now have the comfort of knowing how many people in my life...family, friends and business colleagues... care about me. I get to spend the rest of my life knowing this and never taking it for granted. It is a great gift...I just wish there was an easier way to get it!
Around 10 the rain stops and it is overcast but the temperature is perfect. Again, we love the new route. People are out again cheering us on and feeding us. We are just before lunch and we come into a neighbourhood where a family (I think Portuguese) have a table out on the sidewalk for us. On this table are homemade cookies, homemade breads of all types, desserts and sweets. There are three generations of this family there. The grandparents who must be in their 80's are sitting in chairs and just have the greatest smiles on their faces. I don't think they understood much English but they could tell by our chatter and our smiles that what they had done was special. They must have baked these for days and I am not kidding about this...days. Another lady and her daughter further down this same neighbourhood are offering all of the walkers hot chocolate with Bailey's. Imagine. They were a big hit with our team. There is nothing like a little hot chocolate with Bailey's to wash down the fresh desserts and breads you just had a couple blocks before! I think our "newbie" Mike summed it up best..."I can't believe that I would of walked 60 kms this weekend and actually GAINED weight!" He was right. The people of Toronto are just so great. It really is "Toronto the Good".
So we arrive at lunch and our peeps have staked out a spot for us, bought plastic bags for us so no one has to sit on the wet ground, have my little throne (a small lawn chair) waiting for me. They have offered to pick up Mr. Sub for us again, they picked some up for us yesterday and have some coffees waiting for us. The peeps love the new route because it is easier for them to follow us and see us more often during the walk. So we get the chance to spend some time together as a team, fix our blisters and just chat about the day. It was a nice break. But, we still got some work to do and we have to "git'er done". So as pack up and get ready to walk again, the DJ that is in the park at lunch for our entertainment puts on some good dance music. So as we are packing we are all dancing a little bit. Heads tilting to the rhythm slightly, a hip being thrown out there a little bit, a slight twist action going on till eventually we form a circle and are doing a little white girl dancing and clapping to the beat. So for fun, I jump into the middle of this circle and start to dance. You know that dance...like you do at weddings...that one. I jump back out of the circle clearly thinking that someone else would jump in. That is the routine right. Well, no one does. So I think to myself...OK maybe they are not getting this so I will try this again...back in I jump. Again, do my duty and jump back out while encouraging my team mates to jump in. Well...if you ever want to make Type A personalities shy...while sober....try to get them to dance. I am now shocked. Come on. OK, well we obviously have to get this party going because clearly they are a little tired and out of energy...so back in I jump. Now I am dancing like no one is watching. Problem is....a couple of hundred now are. So you know when you know you have to make a split second decision of commitment and pray it is the right one. I have that moment. That moment where you have to say "Go big or Go home". Well, sometimes I wish that switch would go on in my head that said "Go home" but no...instead I "Go Big". Big mistake. Now I am no longer just dancing like I have had a couple too many at a wedding... I have somehow now added a bad version of a strip tease to the dance. Yes folks...me...dancing a strip tease. I am fully aware of what I am doing but.....I am committed. I am going BIG. So, off comes the jacket and I am now waving it over my head and throw it to one of my team mates. Next, the shirt comes off. Don't worry...I have two on. While I am doing this though I am just hoping the bottom shirt stays on too. Again, I am committed so I have to continue. Luckily for all involved...it does. So now I am waving my shirt over my head like a rodeo star and fling that to one of my teammates. Now the shorts. I begin to pretend I am going to take them off but that's where it ends. In between the layers of clothing coming off I have now turned one of my walking poles into a dance pole. So there it is...me in a park with a couple of hundred people watching this act, surrounded by my friends, dancing like no one is watching. Yet I am feel each and every eye staring at me. You know what though...I really didn't care. The laughter that I saw on my friends faces and the people in the park made it all worthwhile. I don't even remember the song I was dancing too...I just remember the smiles and hearing the laughter. It will stay with me for a long time.
So after this little exhibition we seemed to have more energy and we only had 13 kms left to walk. I am not sure where lunch was but we were not far from Yonge and Davisville and the route would take us right along Davisville. I wish I knew this earlier because I have a cousin who lives on Davisville and she is a very special person in my life. Her name is Leslie and she has been one of the best teachers I have ever had. Leslie had taught me about treating everyone fairly, always look on the bright side of things no matter what life throws at you. I drew a lot of strength from her while I was going through my treatments. She does two crosswords everyday, reads constantly, knows more about movies and tv shows than Roger Ebert and plays seven sports and has gone to the Provincial games once for swimming and has just been told she will be going again in 2008 for swimming. Leslie does public speaking about her involvement in Special Olympics and is on a government committee for Special Olympics. I know that her comments are valued on this committee because Leslie is a two time Provincial Special Olympic athlete. She has more medals and trophies than all other Woodyatt's put together. She plays floor hockey (a family tradition she says) baseball, soccer, bowling, swimming, skiing, had done shot put and wants to try snowshoeing if they have it this winter. I thought about her quite a bit during the summer and knew how determined she was in her sports and in life. I took her as an example when I needed that extra energy to get me through the next 500 yards or 5kms. If Leslie can do what she does every day with such a great outlook and such determination I can do these walks. She is a very special person. So as I look to her building and search the area....there she is standing out in front of her apartment....waiting for us with a big smile on her face and her red "BELIEVE" shirt on that I gave to her last year. I was so happy to see her I broke out into a run. It was so important to me to see her. She does not realize how in her own quiet way she is such a source of strength to me. I wanted to share this with her. So I ran and gave her a great big hug and she was giggling. She was so proud of herself standing there in her shirt and she wanted to make sure I knew she had it on. It was definitely a highlight for me.
Now from lunch to seeing Leslie the day has just been great. The day is still overcast but that is OK because we are now heading south towards the lake. Again, we love the route and it takes us through a new part of the town. I have not been to this part of the town but I certainly loved it. The route took us right to the SteamWhistle Brewery! Wow! We all thought it won't be open...but it was...we thought we would not be able to get a beer....but we could....we thought we would have to pay for it....but we didn't!!! SteamWhistle had open up their brewery and was handing out free beer to all the walkers. It was great. Most of us stopped and enjoyed a glass of hops. It was great advertising for them but at the same time very generous of them too. It tasted good too!
We head out of the brewery and are now walking along west along the Lakeshore. We are close, very close to the end. My thoughts are now racing and I am trying to concentrate on what my friends are saying but it is hard. I am thinking of my Mom. I am thinking of my Dad. I am thinking of Joanne. I am looking at my friends. I am thinking of all of the people who donated and have supported me. I think of our great country Canada and how proud I am to say "I am Canadian". I am trying to keep all of my emotions in check. I am laughing and crying inside all at the same time. We are now walking along the park just outside of the Princess gates and my friend Tanis asks me a question...as I turn to answer her...this rollerblader going about 75 mph is coming down the path at me and almost hits me. Almost takes me out. It was exactly what I needed though because after I recover I start laughing. That would be just my luck...walk in six cities....I am now literally less than one km from the EX...I have walked 459 kms and I almost get taken out by a rollerblader with less that a 1km to go. It takes my mind off of my thoughts for a minute and we have a good laugh over it.
Now I can't avoid it. I have to deal with my emotions and thoughts. I still feel great. I feel like I could walk 60 kms on Sunday. I swear my feet did not actually hit the ground all weekend. As we walk through the gates the clapping starts, the high fives from strangers and volunteers start and then you see the people lined up cheering you in. I am home. I am home. I did it. Pat did it. We did it. My friends are hugging us and giving us such support. We are walking along the sidewalk of the Energy Building, arms around each other. In our red shirts with BELIEVE across the front. People are cheering and standing saying "Thanks for walking" "Way to go" "You did it" "We Believe"...It is such an incredible feeling. The noise of the cheering is getting louder and louder as we are nearing the entrance to the building. I hear my name called from the crowd and I look over to see Joanne's sister standing there cheering us in. She has a t-shirt on that has Joanne's picture on it. I run over and give her a hug. Seeing her, seeing Joanne's picture brings it all home. I think of this time last year when we all knew that Joanne was not doing well. At the closing ceremonies I picked up an extra pink shirt for Joanne and I went to the hospital the next day to give it to her but I was too late...she had just passed away but I gave the shirt to the nurse and left. I knew that when I got to the hospital that it was too late. You could actually feel the sadness even though I was not told of her passing until the next day. Joanne's husband Mike, later told me the shirt was with her. I thought of that each time I picked up my pink shirt this year.
We now turn the corner and the crowd is big and the noise goes up even higher. I am now holding on to my friends. Again, I hear my name and I am so happy...there is Mike and Kay (Joanne's Mom) hugs and some tears again. They are such a terrific family. I wish I had more time to spend with them but it is pretty chaotic now. So we take 10 more steps and there is a sea of red "BELIEVE" shirts to my left. There is another group of friends there cheering us on and their kids are with them. I am done. There standing there with shy smiles are Zach 8, Stephen, 7, Alexis, 5 and Aylesse, 4 all standing there with their red shirts on that say "BELIEVE". I was toast. I was walking for them. You see those little faces and you just want to protect them always. I know you can't but wouldn't it be great to know that maybe one weekend in September maybe changed their life in a better way. One weekend. Change a life of a child. BELIEVE. If I wasn't crying now a head snapping sob was not that far away. So after playing with kids there to my right are the peeps. Standing there waiting patiently for us to get through. The first one I see is Patti, another long time peep who peeped for us in Ottawa, Montreal (police station Patti) and Toronto, and I gave her a hug. A hug of exhilaration, exhaustion, emotion, thanks and a little bit of a collapse of relief. We still have 50 yards left and I am trying to regain some composure and a little bit of dignity but it is tough. My head is up because I don't want to miss a thing but the chin is quivering and I think my lip my be bleeding a bit. I now have a magnum of cold champagne in my hand...Pat arranged this....and we are walking in the building and the cheering is still loud. We get to the end and we are done. We did it. Life does go on though and our team makes a bee line for the bathrooms. Well, we can't wait for them so Pat and I pop the champagne and have a toast to our success and one by one the team comes out from the bathroom. Champagne all around. So there we are in a circle again, magnum of champagne with big grins on our faces and lots of loud laughter. I wish I could of bottled it. I couldn't but I did the next best thing...I kept the empty bottle. We did not drink all of the champagne though we wanted to share it with our peeps and our friends waiting for us outside. So out we went and we had another toast and I told them all that I loved them. I meant it. See what this does, it gives you the opportunity to be able to tell people who are important to you...they are important to you. It's special and it feels good. I am going to do it more often and maybe... just maybe... I may dance a little while I am doing it.
Well, I am not ready to sign off yet. I will still be doing two more entries that I hope to have on by this weekend. I am going to miss this blog because it has been so much fun. More fun than I ever expected. I hope that all of you have enjoyed it as much as I have writing it. To all of you, I can only hope you know how much your support has meant to me. I wish that I could thank all of you personally and I hope that over time I can. You overwhelm me and amaze me all at once. On December 3, 2002 I was told that I had breast cancer but those words have brought so much more into my life than they ever took away.
To my mom....your courage is my courage. Thank you. To Joanne....you inspired me to try and make a difference. Thank you.
Leave your mark. WE ALL DID.
With love and thanks,
M.J.