A friend I met in Winnipeg... Shelley

Why my friend Shelley is walking:

Sitting at a picnic table, there were my mom and dad. Wow. Here was the woman that inspired me to do this. Here was mom. Who had fought the cancer quietly and stoically, who had never complained, who had never said “why me”. Who was there for us, even when all we wanted to do was to be there for her. The night that they told us around the kitchen table at the house in Gimli flashed in front of me. I thought of how I felt when dad said “your mother has breast cancer”. At how they’d hid her testing from us so that we wouldn’t worry about her. Classic mom… everybody else first, always. I thought of how I cried that day. How I had realized that my parents weren’t immortal. How I fully understood that I was now a grown up, something I’d never admitted to before that day. How my heart ripped in two for my mother. How scared I was, how lonely I felt at the thought of her being sick. How I wanted to hold her forever. How angry I was that SHE had to go through this. Why her! I’d say it if she wouldn’t… why her??? Hadn’t she had enough?

So, I went to them. I hugged my dad, who is one of the most supportive men on earth, and then my mother. I told her that I loved her. And I meant it as strongly as I could. My new friend M.J. wrote in her blog that she thinks I collapsed a little into my mother’s arms. She is right. I let myself be her child again, if only for a moment. I wanted to tell her that I couldn’t take away any of the pain, I couldn’t help her with her swollen arm and the ridiculous breast she’s been left with, I couldn’t help her with the arthritis that makes everything worse than it needs to be, but I could walk for her, and I would walk for her, and I did walk for her.

And that is what this walk is about. I see it fully now, what I didn’t see when we started. I had no idea how much the walk would impact me, the way I look at things, the way I feel. I had no idea how much it would do for me. In that respect, it’s very selfish.

To have the opportunity to express your love, help people in need, and grow as a person, all at the same time… well, who wouldn’t sign up again?

But I am not sleeping in tents!